


Kung Fu Panda (and a few OCs) as vines

by Icouldhavedroppedmycroissant



Category: Kung Fu Panda (Movies)
Genre: I also added a few OCs for another fanfic i'm getting ready to write, I wrote this purely because there isn't a vine compilation already like this, Swearing, and I can't make one because I'm bad at editing videos, and akuma, as well as the akuma clan, there is also a bit of alcohol and drug use, they're names are leopard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-11-09 03:15:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17993792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icouldhavedroppedmycroissant/pseuds/Icouldhavedroppedmycroissant
Summary: Read the title





	Kung Fu Panda (and a few OCs) as vines

Po: (strumming a guitar) (points at Tigress) I love you, bitch.  
Tigress: Oh my god.  
Po: (Strums again) I ain't never gonna stop loving you, bitch.  
\---  
(Monkey and Mantis are having a pillow fight)  
Crane: Monkey, dude! Monkey, don't! Watch the light, dude!  
(Monkey pauses for a moment, and proceeds to break the light with the pillow)  
\---  
Shifu: Every time you yell at your kids, put a yuan into the no yelling sock, and soon you'll have a weapon to beat-  
\---  
Tai Lung: His hair? WHACK. His gear? WHACK. His jewelry? WHACK. His foot stance? WHACK. The way that he talks? WHACK. The way that he doesn't even like to smile? WHACK. Me? I'M TIGHT AS FU-  
\---  
Crane: Can I get a sip of that water?  
Mantis: Oh, it's not water.  
Crane: Vodka! I like your style-  
Mantis: It's vinegar.  
Crane: ...what?  
Mantis: It's vinegar, pussy.  
\---  
Viper: Hey, I'm a lesbian.  
Po: I thought you were Chinese?  
\---  
Akuma: WELCOME TO BIBLE STUDY, WE'RE ALL CHILDREN OF SHINIGAMI.  
(an Akuma clan member is snorting cocaine)  
Akuma: KUMBAYA MY LORD-  
\---  
(Monkey has his hand on a dart board)  
Monkey: I dare you to hit a dart on the board while my hand is on it.  
(Crane throws the dart, but it lands on Monkey's head instead. Monkey seems to be unfazed by this)  
Viper: (shocked) It's in his head!  
Crane: It's in your forehead! TAKE IT OUT OF YOUR FOREHEAD-  
\---  
Leopard: So, are you, like, Japanese?  
(turns to the mirror)  
Leopard: Oh, hey, I was talking to myself the whole time.  
\---  
(Mantis and Monkey are outside taking a smoke, when Master Oogway comes up to them)  
Oogway: Smoking kills, boys.  
Mantis: So does talking shit, Master Oogway!  
Oogway: Hey, fuck you!  
\---  
Po: I don't understand why people complain about being fat. What if someone is trying to slit your throat? Ha ha! Try finding my neck now, sucker!  
\---  
Shifu: Okay, that's it! You're in time out! Get on top of the fridge!  
Tai Lung: (climbing in top of the fridge) This house is a FUCKING NIGHTMARE!  
\---  
(Two Akuma clan members are doing weird acrobatics in the middle of a grocery store aisle)  
Po: There they were. I was so scared, I didn’t know what to do, so I quickly got what I wanted and ran away, and I just kept running.  
\---  
Soothsayer: What would you do if there was a child right in front of you?  
Lord Shen: (pushing down baby Po) pshBOOM.  
\---  
Mr. Ping: If you don't buckle down and do your work, you'll end up at McDonalds.  
Po: We're going to McDonalds if I don't do my work?!  
Mr. Ping: NO-  
\---  
Oogway: What do you want to eat?  
Kai: (internally) The souls of the innocent!  
Kai: (out loud) A bagel.  
Kai: (Internally) NO!  
Kai: (out loud) Two bagels.  
\---  
Akuma: (holding a harmonica) You play it and you'll get ten million yuan, but ten million people will die.  
Leopard: (plays harmonica vigorously)  
Tigress: LEOPARD NO.  
\---  
Tigress: Roses are red, violets are blue, talk shit again and I'll hit you with a shoe. Mm hm.  
\---  
(Viper and Leopard are in the nut aisle of a store)  
Viper: Leopard, what do think of all these nuts on the wall?  
Leopard: It's nuts!  
Viper: (Laughing)  
\---  
Wolf Boss: Permission to treat the hostage hostile?  
Lord Shen: Permission granted.  
Wolf Boss: I'm going to shoot you in the face.  
Po: That would ruin my day.  
\---  
Akuma: You are ugly, I am not. I'm the princess, you're the thot. (snaps)  
\---  
Tigress: I don't need friends, they disappoint me. (Does a weird pose)  
\---  
Crane: What are you about to do?  
Po: Yo, drink this vodka down the hatch! (takes a sip, and immediately spits it out in disgust)  
\---  
(Tall people)  
Viper: How tall are you?  
Po: Six foot four.  
(Short people)  
Crane: How tall are you?  
Mantis: (pauses) I am 5 inches and 3 centimeters long. (grabs Crane by the shoulders) I will destroy you.  
\---  
Po: (holding a bag of pistachios) I'm nuts about these nuts. But I'm also nuts about my close good friends.  
(cuts to the furious five all surrounding Po, with cheerful music)  
Po: My close good friends.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone. I'm sorry this was really bad. It came to me so suddenly and I had to type it out.


End file.
